Monster
by Unit7
Summary: Steve Ramsey is slowly becoming a Monster. His Light is slowly fading and when it does, something terrible will happen. But when Joan asks him to go to the Crystal Ball, his life changes. OneShot Read and Review.


Author's Note: I recently rewatched "The Uncertainty Principle" and realized what a great character Steve Ramsey truly is. As I watched the show unfold, I could see the pain and suffering. The guy who played him is a brilliant actor indeed. As I watched, my heart ached for him. I have taken some special liberties with some of the events. Most of it I feel is accurate to the character.

Also I did not try and protray Steve Ramsey as a crazy person. The whole Bully vs Boy thing is a metaphor.

Anyways this is the story of how the troubled Steve Ramsey almost became the Monster.

Monster

To become evil, one must abandon their light. Some do this intentionally, while others are driven in this direction. When this happens, when the last ray of light is gone, they become a monster. Light, one of Gods most precious gifts, allow us to see right and wrong. To understand our faults, accept them, and suppress them. Some choose this path in life, while others its chosen for them.

Steve Ramsey, a man who is not a man but a boy, was walking this narrow and crooked path. Not because he chose to, because he was forced. I say that he is a boy, because that is what he is. Since the seventh grade his life was shattered. So although his exterior and outward personality is that of the school bully. The guy, when seen walking down the hallway, fills the weak with dread. Steve Ramsey has no qualms with fighting, some would call him a Monster.

The truth, he is a scared boy trapped in a mans body, in a cruel world. His father, Mr. Ramsey was never the ideal father. At his best, he may pass a comment along the lines "Congratulations, you didn't fuck up." His dad would spend his paycheck at the bar, forcing the family to live off his mothers paycheck. When his father, a brute of a man, came home it was almost always with the foul stench of liqueur trailing him. It clang to him like a pimple, try as you might, it just wont move. During these times if Ramsey was not careful he would become the perfect punching bag, a nice One-Two before bed.

It was his cousin, who gave him the interest in guns. He taught him to shoot between heart beats. Guns are neither evil nor good. They are machines that were built for evil. They do not need to be used for evil. Policemen use them to protect the weak and others use them for sportsmanship and of course hunting. Ramsey, found a new purpose for the gun. It became a tool of power. Secretly, when he was at his sanctuary, he hated the Gun. But it gave him power, something he lacked.

Ramsey lack power? Followed by laughter is what you would hear from the people at School. But that is what a Man-boy is. He felt powerless. His life and world was shaped by other people, but not when he had his gun. Not when he felt the trigger collapse under his finger, not when he saw the glass bottle shatter. A part of him hated it, but another part. A secret part about him that he kept locked away, and only in the middle of the night, would he feel the joy he felt. The joy of the power he received.

No, Ramsey did not use it for sportsmanship, hunting, or protecting. He used his gun as a security blanket.

If life had turned out differently, perhaps his respect for the Gun would have led him down a path. Not a path of hate, destruction, and a world without light. But a path that would allow him to serve, to protect. If things had gone differently, he may have well ended up as a Sharp Shooter in the U.S. Marines. A man who carries a gun, needs Ramsey's mentality. The fear and respect Ramsey had, and a little bit of that secret joy.

This was not what happened. He would never grow up to be a marine, he would never grow up to be a protector. Again you can hear the kids laughing at the idea of Ramsey being someone who could protect. They think he is a Monster.

At the height of his vicious beatings, his only friend, had abandoned him. Adam Rove never meant to leave him, never meant to hurt Ramsey. It was just one of the results of the Bad Ripples. At the height of the hell, Adam's mother had passed away. Adam grew very distant, often shunning Grace, a close friend.

Adam would lock himself in his garage, and build his sculptures. On the day Ramsey felt strength, not from the Gun but from within, Adam had turned his back on him. Not intentionally. It was never Adam's intentions to do this, it just happened. As cliché as it might be, it was a terrible storm that night. The thunder raged as lightning declared its dominance of the heavens. The large freezing rain pellets assaulted the earth. Ramsey stood, his nose running freely of blood, outside the garage. He banged on the door, its noise deafened by the thunder. Adam never heard. As one might expect, the boy who was trapped in a mans body, felt this as a betrayal. He couldn't understand why Adam didn't answer, why he could turn his back on him. Then he became furious.

The first bits of ray died that night. The next day, perhaps in an act of retaliation, Ramsey and Adam fought. It was quick, as Price had been nearby. Yet it accelerated the decay of the light. Price started a vendetta against Ramsey, and the friendship between two good friends was obliterated. Now he was left with his Gun.

His mother divorced the scum that was Mr. Ramsey and quickly remarried. Although her new husband was not physically abusive, he was a terror of the mind. He delighted in mind games. Not the kind you might find your partner playing for fun. His stepfather grew bored of tormenting him, and now simply waited for an excuse, any excuse really, to kick him out. Perhaps the military school. That was a threat that always worked on the Stepfather when he was a child. The emotional abuse continued, but they were tamer. Ramsey was simply a toy that lost its appeal.

He still had his Gun, oh yes he spent more time with it. As the light faded, as his world was shaped and molded by hands that were not his, he grew to love the gun. His hate was slowly slipping away. Now, when he ventured into that secret place. That place that held his joy for the gun, he questioned why he hated it. With his new found love, his deadly accuracy only sharpened. He studied guns and other weapons. But out of all the weapons, his Gun was his favorite. He would spend days hidden away in his sanctuary firing the Gun.

At school he was the bully. The fear of the hallways. At home, he was a weak victim. At his sanctuary, he was safe. The Bully and the Victim that was Ramsey ceased. Instead he was a boy enjoying his friend. He felt safe and boy did he felt powerful. It was at his sanctuary that the light slowly regained its strength. It wasn't enough.

Ramsey would walk t he halls, and he would listen. Always listening, and what he heard infuriated him. It was when the others complained about how their parents wont let them go to a concert, or get a new phone, something small. In his rage, he was blinded.

It was on one of these days he found Adam. He was in his pathetic state as usual. He was discussing something about his father and how he thought, his dad didn't understand his work and what it meant to Adam. It was the last straw as they say. The Bully started beating on Adam while the boy inside cried. The boy cried and it begged to stop, but the Bully was in control, this was school and this was his territory.

Then the Bully heard her voice. He could feel her pushing him away, and the boy won. Ramsey stood their, half wanting to continue the beating, while the other half wanted to stop. Then he could hear Price. That was the first time he met Joan.

When he met Joan, the sanctuary was failing him. No longer was it truly the Boys domain, but the bullies. The bully, with the power that came with the Gun began to formulate a plan. He imagined, and he loved the idea of bringing it to school. To show Price and everyone else that he wasn't weak, but strong. Slowly the Bully was transforming into a Monster. Only the dimmest of lights remained. Evil, would have a new ally.

Ramsey was standing in front of his locker the second time he saw Joan. He could sense her fear, and was baffled when she asked him to the Crystal Ball Semi Formal. At first he thought she was tricking him. But secretly, he wanted to go with her. He knew that they had nothing in common, but the idea of going anyways sounded like fun. When was the last time he had real fun that was not inspired by the power of the Gun?

That night was restless. The Dim light was growing. Each time he thought about going to the dance, the light would pulse. He could feel it pulse, few people are aware of the Light that is in us all, but Ramsey knew.

Unable to sleep, he crept out of his bed and got into his pickup. He drove around for awhile, but he wanted to see Joan. He wondered if this was what it was like to have a crush? He wished this was the truth, but in reality, he wanted to confirm that he was going to the dance. That it wasn't a dream.

Finding her phone number was easy enough. So when Joan opened the door, the Boy cried with relief. Then it wanted to cry. It was painted clearly on her face, she was scared. Joan, standing on the porch at three in the morning was more then just scared. She was terrified. Rightly so, but still it hurt the Boy and angered the Bully that was soon to be a Monster.

Their meeting was brief, but when she looked out of the window. Ramsey was sure things were going to end up alright. She had a smile on her face, he wasn't sure why she was smiling. But he enjoyed her smile. For the first time in years that felt like centuries, his anger subsided. As you might guess, the light flashed brightly. When he returned home, he slept peacefully.

As the night of the dance loomed closer. The Bully had hardly mumbled, he was the Boy. Ramsey quickly learned, he had no suit of any kind. Something like that was reserved for people with decent families, not the one he had. Again his cousin was there to rescue him. They were about the same size, the pants were a little snug for his liking. As he looked into the mirror, he clutched the tie Joan had given him. It had been one of the few decent things anyone had done for him, he knew that when the night ended he would need to surrender the tie, even if he wished to keep it.

Before Ramsey could leave, the Bully made one final move. Ramsey had found his way into his Stepfathers liquor cabinet. The truth was he had never enjoyed the taste of alcohol. Perhaps it was because of his father. Still, he looked through it and picked out one of the kinds he had heard about. He tucked it neatly in his jacket's pocket and left the house.

He was slightly disappointed when he had learned that he could not pick Joan up. He had pictured himself walking up to the door and ringing the bell. He thought it would be the proper thing to do, but he was lucky to be able to go with her at all.

As he arrived at the school, he couldn't help but laugh. The idea of actually wanting to be there at night was ridiculous. The school grounds were busy with excitement. Women in dresses, men in suits. It looked incredible. Of course, he would never admit to these thoughts. He had an image to uphold... or the Bully did.

He felt foolish standing there. He couldn't help but notice the odd looks the teachers gave him. He could even feel Price's eyes burning holes into him. But he was a student and he hadn't been forbidden to come. Except, the idea of Ramsey coming to a dance at all had never occurred to the faculty. Why would a Monster like him, go to a school dance? If not to just cause trouble. But he wasn't a Monster, he was a boy.

He tightly clutched the tie in his hands. The slow boil of anger began. He had been stood up, the bully said seductively. The Boy refused this, but his mind began to fog. It was always like this when he was angry. Often reminding him of Bruce Banner and the Hulk.

But there she was, the boil stopped, and the light had been at its brightest. She wasn't scared, not from what Ramsey could see, but she was nervous. Unsure of how to handle the situation. He stood their feeling foolish, his hand tightening around the tie. They exchanged pleasantries and when Joan pointed out the tie. Ramsey gave a weak excuse of waiting. The truth was, he had never learned to tie a necktie. Joan must have picked up on it, because she offered to tie it. As she did, he felt incredible. It had been a long time since he had been treated fairly. The Boy was thrilled.

They walked into the transformed Gym, and Ramsey was stunned. The Bully's plans with the Gun had been eradicated from his mind. He broke off with Joan, and walked amongst the neatly set tables. He took the sealed bottle and thought of opening it. Joan saw it and Ramsey could see the fear in her eyes, but it wasn't of him, it was for him. Ramsey, in a shy voice, offered her a drink. When she refused, a weight had been lifted. He was relieved to know she wouldn't drink it. It had been the Bully's idea, not the Boys.

Joan took Ramsey's hand, and led him to the floor. She was slowly starting to dance, and he felt stupid. He had never danced, not once. But he could careless about that, he enjoyed watching her move. The way her body shifted with the song's rhythm. He was only vaguely aware that she was speaking to him then, but his mind took her advice. He slowly started to move, he thought he looked foolish. But he was enjoying it. If he looked foolish, who cares?

So they danced, and the Boy could feel the Bully's agony of it. The Bully had obtained an image, and he was ruining it. But that was fine with the Boy. So he enjoyed the Light's warmth, except it wasn't all of the Light, it was Joan. She was pressed up against him, and he savored the feeling. The last time he was this close to a girl was when Adam had dared him to kiss Grace. They had come close, but was interrupted.

Then out of impulse he tried to dip her. He heard the little gasp from Joan and the fit of giggles. He smiled, and whispered " I have always wanted to do that."

"Do it again then," she giggled back. They danced for awhile, and when he worked his nerve up, the image of him perfectly dipping Joan planted firmly in his mind, and he did it. Only it was all but perfect. She fell to the ground, and began to laugh. It was contagious, and he found himself laughing as he tried to pull her up.

But their fiasco did not go unnoticed. Joan's mother and Price swiftly intervened. They began questioning him, and Ramsey felt the dull ache of anger throb at his temples. Joan was arguing that nothing happened, but it didn't matter. He was the Monster. When a pretty girl like Joan was in danger, they only saw the Monster...

Gavin reached into Ramsey's pocket, and the dull ache became a migraine. It was fierce and it washed over him. He word the words expulsion, and he couldn't take it anymore. He ran from the Gym. The thoughts of him being expelled, his stepfather kicking him out, living with his real father... it was to much! The light was decaying fast, too fast. With the light, a pain in his gut stabbed at him. Perhaps it was the Bully celebrating by beating the crap out of the boy.

He saw Joan standing in front of the truck. The thought of running her over quickly passed his mind... no it passed the bully's mind. He stopped and the next thing he was aware of was standing at his sanctuary. The only place he had ever found peace. But it had been tainted. He quickly unlocked his Gun and felt its power flow from it, to him.

The Plans returned in full form. But it wasn't the Bullies plans, it was the Boys. The Boy was forming his attack plan, picking his targets.

Price.

"Shoot between heartbeats," He heard himself say. He felt the trigger give under his finger and the bottle exploded. Except in the Mind's eye, it was not a bottle but Price. He caused this. The light, was flickering now. There was no strength to keep it. The Boy who was tormented by the Bully, would become the Monster.

For Ramsey it was like a dream, in the distance he could hear Joan speaking in a frantic voice. If it had been an hour earlier, the look on Joan's face would have devastated the Boy. But not now. The Boy who would become Monster, was too full of rage to care.

Now he could hear sirens and could see the flashing lights of a police cruiser. Ramsey and Joan's father argued and they talked. But it was not until he mentioned Joan seeing something in him that the light's slow flicker strengthened. He glanced backwards, wondering what it is she saw in him. Did she see the Monster like the teachers? Or did she see the Boy?

But Joan saw neither. She saw the Victim. Through her tears, she could see the Victim within Ramsey as clearly as the students and teachers saw the Bully. And now, her tears were not for fear for her life nor her fathers. But they were for him, the Victim.

He felt the drain of the Gun's power leave him...

The Boy that would turn Monster ceased to exist....

The Bully that thrived on pain ceased to exist...

The Victim of life's cruelty was left alone... and scared.

The Light that had been so close to leaving him had returned. He would be punished and forever be called the Monster in the hearts of the students and teachers he had tormented. People will always see the gun crazed psycho, except Joan.

Joan would see the Victim. A sense of relief filled within him.

The Dark tunnel that people take through life, is guided by a Light that separates the Good from the Evil. To lose the light, is to lose your guide. The loss of Light leads you down the path of Evil. Whether you realize it or not.

Ramsey, was on the path of the Good...


End file.
